Kids Say The Darndest Things

Oh boy do kids say and do the darndest things! I have kept track of the funny things said to me or that I have overheard while being at Colwill Primary School. Here are a few!

• The class was working on copying the poem 5 Little Monkeys. Benjamin, a special needs boy in my class (he has severe brain damage) started singing 5 little monkeys to himself. He then stood up and yelled to the entire class, “Everybody! Join in with me!” while waving his arms around conducting the class. The entire class started singing and dancing like monkeys around the classroom. You couldn’t help but laugh. (Benjamin is 8 years old)

• “I apologize tremendously for my lateness. My mother had an appointment.” – Earl (5 years old)

• Not only does Earl have a very extensive vocabulary that makes him funny, but he has a bit of a toilet issue too. Well, it’s more of a lack of toilet that causes his issues. He has had so many accidents in his pants its ridiculous. I have decided it should be mandatory for all students to be FULLY potty trained before they come to school. End of story. Anyways, here is a really funny story that happened in our classroom. 

Earl had to go to the bathroom really bad one afternoon. He was bouncing around and this is what went down.
“Mrs. Whitehouse, Mrs. Whitehouse! I have to go to the bathroom real bad!” – Earl
“Well, go on ahead! Hurry up and go to the toilet!” – Mrs. Whitehouse
Unfortunately, he wore a really difficult belt that day and so he was fiddling with it trying to get it off in the bathroom for about 2 minutes until he came back in the classroom.
“Mrs. Whitehouse, Mrs. Whitehouse! I can’t get my belt undone!” – Earl
“It’s alright, come here and I’ll help you get it undone.” –Mrs. Whitehouse
“NO! NO! I got it Mrs. Whitehouse! I can do it! I’m to the rescue!” – Benjamin (Yes, the special needs boy)
Benjamin rushed over to Earl and started helping him with his belt. He had eventually gotten it off, but regretfully he was just too late. Yes, Earl and full on wet his pants. All Earl could say was “Ahhhh…much, much better”.

• Kirsten and I were walking around doing duty during lunch when a group of girls came up to us to chat. Here is a funny but brief conversation we had.                                                                  

“Miss Harper, Miss Harper! Do you like him?”

“Well yes, He’s in my class.”

 Chorus of girls giggling as they ran away. I had forgotten how you have to choose your words wisely when girls ask you if you like boys at the age of 11 and 12. Poor Kirsten.

• While I was on duty one day during lunch there was a little boy on the playground singing. He was singing the phrase “I am getting so hot, so I’m gonna take my clothes off” from the song Hot in Here from Usher. A little girl then ran up to me saying, “Miss! Miss! That boy over there is singing naughty words”! It was really hilarious.

• There is another boy in my class and his name is Jnr (Junior). He is such a cute kid. He is going to be quite the ladies man I can already tell. He is constantly making moves on me, which I think is kind of comical. I work with him often because he is one of the lower students in our class. Because the tables are mini sized for the little munchkins, I squat down beside the tables. As I began working with him more and more he would gradually move a little closer, then a little closer, then a little closer until we were touching. One day he got the point where he got so close he decided to put his arm around my shoulders and tuck his head onto my shoulder. I turned to him and said, “Jnr, we need to make sure that we are keeping our hands to ourselves”. He immediately replied, “But, Miss Taylor! I just like it here so much”! It took all my will power not to bust up right then and there.  (Jnr is 5 years old)

• As my class sits in the classroom eating morning tea and lunch I like to eavesdrop on their conversations. One day there was a table of boys that had quite the conversation about their love lives. Jnr (5yrs old), Hlune (5yrs old), Ayad (6yrs old), and Mina (6yrs old) were having a very serious conversation about each of their girlfriends. Here are some of the comments made in this intense conversation:

“She’s my girlfriend, but she doesn’t really like to play with me.” –Hlune

“She has a pretty face.” – Mina

“I’d say Mia is a baaabe cause her hair is pretty and curly.”- Jnr
“I wish I had a girlfriend too.” –Ayad

• I was making the base for the volcanoes our class was going to paper machete. I had two helpers Saphire (6yrs old) and Earl (5yrs old). As we were working Elissa (6yrs old) comes up to me and asks me if I had ever heard of a specific Maori song. She started singing it and it was so precious. Earl rudely interrupted and said, “Oh ya! Well watch this!” and immediately started singing Baby by Justin Bieber completely in tune and in rhythm. 

• I was working with Jnr again in class and sat there in his chair just staring at my face. Then he turns to me and we have this conversation about my make up:

"Miss Taylor, whats that pinky stuff on your face?"

"Well, its blush."

"Oh, Okay."

Pauses for a moment...

"Miss Taylor, Whats that black stuff on your eyebrows?"

"Jnr, do you mean on my eyelashes?"

"Oh, oh ya your eyelashes."

"Its called mascara."

"Oh. Why do you wear it?" 

"Because it makes girls look pretty."

"Oh. Do you think I could wear it too? Would it make girls think I'm pretty too?"

"Oh, Jrn, boys don't wear makeup. Especially ones as cute as you."